Valerian was a ... thing
May. 7th, 2018 08:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kutsuwamushiSo, Valerian is on Amazon Prime video.
I'd read some reviews that indicated I shouldn't get my hopes up - and I didn't, really. I was expecting a mediocre movie with a pair of boring leads.
But I'm still really disappointed, somehow. I think it's because it could have been so good. It could have been another quirky, humorous, visually stunning movie like The Fifth Element... but instead all we get is visually stunning, and that's hampered by poor CGI.
ou can see the potential in the movie everywhere, but it's all stomped on.
The lead is less than boring, he's actually off-putting. The writing is awful - almost paint by numbers. The actor can't pull off his badass douche lines, and probably no one could because they sound like they were written by a fifteen-year-old.
When the movie opened up with the most cliched, hackneyed scene of Valerian harassing Laureline for sex, I knew I was in for it. Laureline herself isn't allowed much of a personality. There's no chemistry and no heart.
I don't know. It's obvious why I didn't hear much about this movie even in sci-fi circles.
I'd read some reviews that indicated I shouldn't get my hopes up - and I didn't, really. I was expecting a mediocre movie with a pair of boring leads.
But I'm still really disappointed, somehow. I think it's because it could have been so good. It could have been another quirky, humorous, visually stunning movie like The Fifth Element... but instead all we get is visually stunning, and that's hampered by poor CGI.
ou can see the potential in the movie everywhere, but it's all stomped on.
The lead is less than boring, he's actually off-putting. The writing is awful - almost paint by numbers. The actor can't pull off his badass douche lines, and probably no one could because they sound like they were written by a fifteen-year-old.
When the movie opened up with the most cliched, hackneyed scene of Valerian harassing Laureline for sex, I knew I was in for it. Laureline herself isn't allowed much of a personality. There's no chemistry and no heart.
I don't know. It's obvious why I didn't hear much about this movie even in sci-fi circles.
no subject
Date: 2018-05-08 01:46 am (UTC)Which is too bad, because for all its flaws, I adore 5th Element.
no subject
Date: 2018-05-09 08:03 pm (UTC)It was VERY pretty. But any soul or even sense-making it had was leeched away by the default low-effort het cis white dude perspective.
I should have known when the history of the giant future station opened with a montage of all humanity's first contacts with alien life over the centuries, and every single one of the human teams was led by a white guy. The aliens got weirder and cooler and the tech got snazzier, and yet: the face of the human race shaking the hand/tentacle of the galaxy--still 100% white dude. Aaargh.
It could have been actually fun and interesting and good; there were moments here and there that hinted that way. Which makes it all the more frustrating.
(Has given poor Mucca this rant before...)
no subject
Date: 2018-05-08 07:37 am (UTC)