Is this dramatic enough
Jul. 25th, 2017 01:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kutsuwamushiIt always makes me sad an angry when I see a mother say "boys are less drama than girls."
It's so hurtful. No, they're not. You only think that they are because when boys transgress boundaries it's less likely to be labeled a negative behavior--an even less likely to be labeled "drama," which is used in a highly gendered way.
My boss called me dramatic after I asked not to be scheduled with a man who threatened to kill me--on the phone, to my boss, while I was listening. Who was actually full of drama: The man whose reaction to a woman not sucking his metaphorical dick was to descend into threats, or me, for trying to remove myself from the situation?
Who was actually full of drama: The boy playmate who suddenly and decisively decided to he didn't want to play anymore because I was a girl, or me, for being upset about it?
And then there's the fact that we systematically undercut their self-esteem by subjecting them to impossible standards of appearance and behavior. We set up an artificial scarcity around being valued by tokenizing them--there's one girl who's the prettiest, one girl who gets the boy, one woman who is on the team. We teach them that girls can't really be friends because they're always in competition, and then chide them if this fosters competitiveness.
And then we say they're full of drama. Fuckkkkkk yooooouuuuuuuuuu.
I was a well behaved, quiet child. As I get older I get less and less patient with this kind of nonsense and, ironically, want to get all dramatic. But I'm complaining about it here rather than actually engaging with the mothers saying this (mothers! TRAITORS!) because ....
It's so hurtful. No, they're not. You only think that they are because when boys transgress boundaries it's less likely to be labeled a negative behavior--an even less likely to be labeled "drama," which is used in a highly gendered way.
My boss called me dramatic after I asked not to be scheduled with a man who threatened to kill me--on the phone, to my boss, while I was listening. Who was actually full of drama: The man whose reaction to a woman not sucking his metaphorical dick was to descend into threats, or me, for trying to remove myself from the situation?
Who was actually full of drama: The boy playmate who suddenly and decisively decided to he didn't want to play anymore because I was a girl, or me, for being upset about it?
And then there's the fact that we systematically undercut their self-esteem by subjecting them to impossible standards of appearance and behavior. We set up an artificial scarcity around being valued by tokenizing them--there's one girl who's the prettiest, one girl who gets the boy, one woman who is on the team. We teach them that girls can't really be friends because they're always in competition, and then chide them if this fosters competitiveness.
And then we say they're full of drama. Fuckkkkkk yooooouuuuuuuuuu.
I was a well behaved, quiet child. As I get older I get less and less patient with this kind of nonsense and, ironically, want to get all dramatic. But I'm complaining about it here rather than actually engaging with the mothers saying this (mothers! TRAITORS!) because ....
no subject
Date: 2017-07-25 09:13 pm (UTC)Who was actually full of drama: The boy playmate who suddenly and decisively decided to he didn't want to play anymore because I was a girl, or me, for being upset about it?
Heh. Yeah.
I think kids in general can be dramatic. If there is ANY difference, it's that sometimes boys are more direct about it (in my experience), whereas girls can be more catty. (So not outright saying "we can't be friends anymore" but "forgetting" you were supposed to hang out and shit like that.) However, even that's a huge generalization, and each of those applies to the other gender at times as well.
My boss called me dramatic after I asked not to be scheduled with a man who threatened to kill me--on the phone, to my boss, while I was listening. Who was actually full of drama: The man whose reaction to a woman not sucking his metaphorical dick was to descend into threats, or me, for trying to remove myself from the situation?
And yeah. There's that. *Sigh*
no subject
Date: 2017-07-27 02:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-27 02:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-07-27 02:48 pm (UTC)